


Connected

by TheGreenMeerkat



Series: Connor The Friendly Ghost [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, I promise, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jared will be happy eventually, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Sequel, Soulmates, Unrequited Love, but also not really, but not really, mystery gang - Freeform, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-01-05 00:52:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreenMeerkat/pseuds/TheGreenMeerkat
Summary: Two months after the wrap of lies that was Evan's start to senior year, the gang decides to put it behind them and start anew. But senior year isn't over, and there are still some mysteries that need to be solved.(aka the Connor Project gang tries to find out what the hell is up with Evan and ghost Connor)





	1. Soulmates

**Author's Note:**

> It's here! It's here! The sequel!!  
> If you haven't read the first part of the series, I highly encourage you to as some things might not make sense! This takes place two months after the last chapter of Bound. I've also decided to make this one in Connor's POV because I have a lot of fun writing in his. There might be a chapter once in awhile in Evan's like I did in Bound, but expect mostly Connor!  
> Enjoy, folks!

    When you’re alive and something new happens, whether it be your whole life changing or just a shift in schedule, you eventually get used to it one way or another. You change schools or work? You go through something traumatic? It’s only natural that your mind and body will find some way to develop with this change.

    But what happens when you go through a change that is believed to be physically impossible? A change that cannot be described by any science we know of today, one that goes against all living creature’s instincts?

    What happens when you make a living creature something that is both dead and alive at the same time? If you give a creature a mind, but no heartbeat, how is the body supposed to react to that?

    Connor is beginning to understand that it’s  _ not _ . This isn’t natural, this isn’t normal, and all the natural occurrences in his brain are still telling him  _ you’re alive. _

    When the boy ended his life almost 4 months ago, he didn’t feel that primal instinct to live flowing through him. Now he’s actually dead, and it has come back. If you threw a knife at him, he would try to dodge it, because that’s what living people do.

    He could feel the temperature, but never shiver or sweat. He could cry, but the tears disappeared the moment they fell of his face. He could feel a pain in his chest and butterflies in his stomach when looking at Evan, but his heart rate stayed the same. It stayed at  _ nothing _ .

    He could breathe, but he could hold it until the end of time.  _ Deep. _

__ He was also growing, too. They’ve been measuring him for two months to see if he might grow old still, and he’s grown a whole fourth of an inch. He hasn’t grown since he was 16.

    Yeah, none of it really made sense. It didn’t add up to anything, and the newer events that have been happening make it all the more stranger.

    Two months ago, Evan’s little friend group consisting of an insecure asshole (who was admittedly getting better) and a girl who was probably going to become president someday became a sort of mystery gang.

    Unfortunately, they weren’t going around solving murder cases or investigating monster sightings; they’re just trying to figure out what the fuck Connor actually is.

    The answer seems obvious at first; a ghost. But there are a lot of details that don’t quite fit in the category of what we commonly consider a ghost. There has to be some record, some kind of mythological creature or ancient story, that resembles Connor and their situation. It’s physically impossible for this to be the first time it has happened. Things like this don’t just happen randomly one day.

    Connor really wished he could consider himself part of their “mystery gang.” They did include him in jokes sometimes or even ask for his input (with Evan as his translator, of course). But really, he was just their client. The moment they found what he really is, they’d lose interest.

    At least he’d still have his boyfriend, right?

    Anyways.

    They’ve looked all over the internet, skimmed through more than half of the possibly relating books in the library, only to come out with possibilities. Nothing has been spot on.

    A guardian angel? ( _ Probably not. _ )

    Demon? ( _ Wouldn’t be too surprising.) _

    An incubus? ( _ You wish, Jared. _ )

    A doppelganger? ( _ Thanks for the existential crisis, Alana. _ )

    They are all possibilities (some more than others) but none of them come close to explaining all of the events that have taken place. Why could he only touch Evan? How did Alana feel his hand on her shoulder only one time? Why is he stuck with Evan?

    “Stuck” wasn’t really the word he was looking for, but you get what he means.

    It’s made Jared go into full conspiracy theory mode (“I’m telling you, there’s no way no one has ever posted about something like this on the internet! They’re being silenced!”) and Alana go absolutely insane trying to figure it out while still keeping her schedule. Honestly, it probably wasn’t healthy, but it was pretty funny to watch.

    After about a month of that mess, a routine was made; once every week they would meet up in the library, researching through any means they had. Alana would leave after an hour to keep with her routine, but Evan and Jared would often stay for a bit longer, and they were pretty sure Jared spent all of his free time nowadays researching.

    The day they usually met up was Thursday, specially picked by Evan, which seemed a bit strange to Connor.

_     “Why Thursday? When I was alive I would have rather died than spend an extra hour at school by the end of the week.” _

_     Evan blushed a bit in response. “Ah, it’s kind of stupid. Thursday’s just kind of, um, an important day for me?” _

    Connor didn’t realize until later that he first showed up in Evan’s room on a Thursday. Connor hates  (loves) being cheesy, but it still makes his “heart” flutter thinking that Evan possibly picked that day because of that. It really is kind of stupid, it’s just a day of the week.

    Now, four months after Connor’s ghostly appearance, three months after they started dating, two months after the mystery gang was brought together by strange circumstances, and one month since they developed their routine, the idea finally came up.

    “Look, I know we’ve all thought of this before, but it needs to be said. What if you guys are soulmates?” Alana asked.

    She was totally right, they had all thought about it, and there was almost an unspoken agreement between them that it is not mentioned. For Connor, he thought about the possibility before they even started dating and immediately forced it in the back of his mind. He hasn’t really thought about it since.

    “Look, you can tell us if you two are fucking,” Jared said, eliciting a smack on the arm from Alana. “Hey! I’m trying to be supportive! If they want to be fuckbuddies, they can be fuckbuddies.”

    Evan’s face turned bright red. “W-we’re not ‘f-fuckbuddies’, Jared.” Well, he wasn’t lying. That was an awkward encounter they were not ready to have yet.

    “Let’s just put it down as a possibility,” Alana suggested, going back to the subject at hand. “I mean, platonic soulmates can be a thing, right? Plus, it would make a lot of sense! In the past two months, you’ve both grown about 1/4th of an inch! That’s weird!”

    Wait, how did she know that Evan grew too?

    Evan looked up at Connor, silently asking “What do you think?” with his eyes.

    He remembers something Alana mentioned who knows when. According to most psychologists, it takes four months for a crush to turn into love.

    Technically, you could say Connor has liked Evan for about four months, but they’ve been dating for three. It would be unfair to say that he was _ in love _ with the boy, even if he was ready to (which he isn’t).

    But even so, soulmates could make a lot of sense, and it certainly added up more than any of their other ideas.

    So Connor shrugged.

    For the next half hour, he watched the three search through a website on Japanese mythology, laughing and bantering while trying to stay quiet enough to not piss off the librarians again.

    And yet he couldn’t stop thinking about it.  _ Soulmates _ .

    Yeah, it was definitely a possibility.


	2. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into how Connor and Evan's relationship is going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, does it feel good to get back to the schedule! It was about the only thing keeping me sane during the summer!  
> If you notice, this chapter is a bit longer than any of the chapters in Bound (about 3/4 of a page longer in Google Docs). I'm going to try to stick with these longer chapters, but it could be hard since I have school to worry about now!  
> Happy Spooky Month everyone!! Enjoy this chapter!!

    It never left his mind, and it’s driving him insane.

_ Soulmates. _

__ Connor has never believed in soulmates; he’s always felt that it only encouraged the “love at first sight” myth. Relationships take hard work (worth it, though) and throwing around the word “soulmates” makes it sound a lot more simple than it actually is. But throwing out the idea just because he doesn’t believe in it is just a bad plan. He’s never believed in ghosts either, but now he  _ is  _ one. Or something.

    Here’s the main problem with this idea: every time he thinks about it, which is often, THE QUESTION pops into his head.

_ Do you love him _ ?

    Now let’s paint the scene; it’s third period, P.E. (Evan didn’t take P.E before, thinking his social anxiety would be better by now. Big mistake.), and Evan is running laps while Connor floats next to him. Suddenly, THE QUESTION pops into his head, making him slowly stop everything he is doing and go into a sort of trance of follow-up questions that cloud his mind. Unfortunately, this causes the ghost to lag behind Evan, making the running all the more uncomfortable.

    Situations like that have been happening a lot lately, and he’s about ready to murder Alana for ever suggesting soulmates.

    When was the last time Connor has said ‘I love you’ to anyone? Freshman year, 8th grade? God, it might have been even longer ago.

    So you see now, it’s not so easy for Connor to just admit to any love, especially being  _ in _ love. He just needs a bit more time, at least another month. 

    Although, he was pretty sure he saw a future with Evan.

    Anyways.

    There were a lot more important things going on than the phantom’s pathetic mind feud. For example, being at the Orchard with his boyfriend.

    Okay, so he wasn’t  _ just  _ with Evan. The place had just opened back up and the whole crew wanted to join, but they were currently split up from Jared and Alana as they headed to their favourite spot where they knew no one else would be. 

    With senior year four months in, the two boys’ only alone time had been spent doing homework, working on projects, studying, and everything else school through at Evan. They managed to fit in the occasional date, but most of their alone time was spent napping, and Connor wasn’t even able to nap! They desperately needed this alone time.

    It was such a strange feeling to have your name in front of a place like you’re something special. It’s a bit ridiculous, really; Connor is just one of the many kids who ended his life. What makes him special enough to get such an honor?

    Really, if it wasn’t for being stuck with Evan, he would have been forgotten about in a few weeks, thrown into the wasteland. Evan probably would have been better off without him too-

_ No, fuck you. Evan likes me. We’re happy like this.  _

    It was a weird thing he did, arguing with himself. It was like his mind would split into sections, intrusive depressing thoughts being clashed against logic and optimism somehow still living in his messed up head.

    With senior year four months in and winter break having just ended, the two boys’ only alone time has been spent doing homework, working on projects, studying, and everything else school threw at Evan. They managed to fit in the occasional date, but most of their alone time was spent napping, and Connor wasn’t even able to nap! They  _ desperately _ needed this alone time.

    Of course, with their amazing luck, a girl was in  _ their _ spot. Who the hell does she think she is?

    Yes, he knows the girl didn’t know any better, but no one was even supposed to be back here! It was off the main track and therefore prohibited.

    He couldn’t tell how old the girl was, but she was probably, at most, 16 or 17. Her hair was a bit longer than shoulder length and a dirty-blonde color, almost reminding him of-

    Oh. it was Zoe.

_  ...Oh shit _ , it was Zoe!

    “Ah, you know what, let’s just go meet back up with the others and get churros or something,” Connor blurted, turning Evan around.

    Evan looked up at the ghost, puzzled and slightly worried. It didn’t seem like he noticed it was Zoe yet. If he did, he would probably be rushing out even faster than Connor. “O-oh, are you sure? We could just find another spo-” 

    “Nah, I think I’m about ready to leave. We can just come back another time,” the ghost suggested, more and more eager to just  _ get the hell out of here. _

    It’s not just that he didn’t have the heart to look at her face, it was also the fact that Evan couldn’t either. Evan has a few months of horrible lies (that Connor blames himself for, mostly) and Connor has years of emotional abuse to be guilty for. Neither of them needed that reminder of the girl they broke.

    “Are you feeling okay?” Evan asked, squeezing the spirit’s hand. The simple gesture to show that he cared created a pang in Connor’s chest.

    The pang faded away as he started to panic, trying to come up with an excuse. “Yeah, just tired I guess.”  _ You fucking idiot, you don’t even sleep! You really think he’s going to believe that? _

    A beat of silence passed before Evan muttered an “Okay” and kept walking with Connor, obviously still worried but not wanting to budge.

    Great, now he feels bad. Relationships are all about honesty and communication, right?

    “Ugh, sorry, just- Don’t freak out on me Hansen, but Zoe’s here,” Connor said, trying to avoid creating bad habits. 

    “Oh. Oh! She was-” the anxious boy began to play with his shirt, grabbing onto the bottom of it as a nervous habit. “You know I, I can have fun in the same place as her. I’m still guilty but- s-she doesn’t control my life, okay?”

_ Shit,  _ he was really bad at this. “Fuck, Evan that’s not what I meant. I don’t think that, but-” the phantom let out a long sigh, deciding to stick with this new honesty policy he set for himself. “I honestly don’t think I can say the same for me.”

    “Oh,” Evan repeated, running a hand through his hair, which Connor is pretty sure was a habit he picked up from him. “Oh geez, I’m sorry. I-I wasn’t even thinking how you feel, and you probably want to break up with me whichisfineIunderstandif-”

    “Woah, Evan, I thought we were passed that shit.” This was nowhere near the first time the strawberry blonde had said something like that, doubting Connor’s feelings. It was something they’ve been trying to work on, but years of self-hatred and doubt takes more than a (hopefully) good boyfriend to fix. “I’m not gonna break up with you over something petty like that. I  _ like _ you, and I like being your boyfriend.”

    “I-I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Evan mumbled, rubbing his face embarrassingly. “I’m trying to get better, I swear, I just-” He breathed in shakily, Connor responding by kissing his forehead. It was something he had to get used to, but he found that Evan responded quite positively to physical affection (if you knew the right times to use it). 

    He was slightly embarrassed to admit it, but he was finding out he liked physical affection possibly even more than his boyfriend. At this point, the little kisses and warming hugs were what he lives for.

    Or, sorta lives for. Whatever.

    “I think I’m gonna t-take you up on that offer on getting churros. Then we’ll go home.”

    Connor smiled, grabbed his boyfriend’s hand, and walked/floated off.

    They took about two steps forward before they ran into Alana and Jared.

    “We’ve been looking all over for you, Ev!” Jared practically yelled, not acknowledging Connor’s invisible existence like always. “Thought you were making out in a tree or some shit! We’re about ready to leave.” He groaned impatiently, tapping his foot and pretending to look at a watch on his wrist. “It’s so boring here. Plus, we ran into Zoe while trying to find you and I doubt you want to see her.”

    “May I add that it is Jared who wants to leave and not me? But I do have a lot of homework to get to, so it is  _ probably  _ for the best. But I was really enjoying it here! And it was nice to see Zoe of course. Did you see her? You should really just talk to her and move past all of this.”

    “Um, yeah, we saw her,” Evan responded, ignoring the over-talkative girl’s last comment. “We’re pretty much ready too, but we were gonna get churros first, i-if that’s alright with you guys?”

    “You mean  _ ‘I’ _ , not  _ ‘we’ _ . Connor can’t even eat.”

    Jared’s smart-ass remark caused Alana to hit the back of his head. “Can you be any more insensitive, Jared?”

    “I’m just stating facts, how is that inconsiderate?”

    “Well sometimes facts are better left unsaid!” What the hell has gotten into those two?

    “W-why are you guys at each other’s throats all of a sudden?” Evan asked, thinking the same thing Connor was thinking: What did Jared do this time?

    Jared huffed in response, crossing his arms. “She’s just mad at me that I outed her in front of her crush, even though she totally likes you back!”

    Wait,  _ crush _ ?

    “It doesn’t matter if Zoe likes me or not, or what she identifies as! Coming out is a personal and private thing!”

    “ _ Zoe  _ has a crush on  _ Alana  _ and no one told me?” Connor said, raising his voice slightly even though Evan was obviously the only one who could hear him.

    Evan whispered a “sorry” to Connor before he responded to Jared and Alana’s predicament. “Sorry Jared, but Alana’s right. You should be apologizing, I-I think.”

    The computer nerd groaned, losing all of his patience. “Okay, okay, Sorry! Now can we just get churros and leave?”

    Alana sighed. “Alright, I’ll forgive you. As a straight guy, I guess you just don’t know what it’s like.”

    Jared noticeably tensed up at that comment for barely a second before going back to his normal posture. “Yeah, right, whatever. Let’s just go.”

    Connor held in a laugh.  _ That poor boy is nowhere near straight,  _ he thought, but he didn’t say it.

    They obliged by Jared’s wishes and left as soon as churros were bought. None of them could place why Jared was the one who was so persistent on leaving as soon as possible, but they decided not to question the boy; they knew the only answer they would get were comments about how the place was just like a sucky fair.

    Later that night, however, Connor would ask Evan if he knew. He’d explain how they used to come here together as kids, and it held a lot of amazing and terrible memories that could be related to Jared’s strange mood.

    But now, as they drove home with Jared and Alana still bickering in the front, there was only one thing that crossed his mind as Evan squeezed his hand and looked up at him with a beautiful smile that held a thousand words.

      _I love you,_ he thought, but he didn't say it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, don't feel obliged to tell your partner you love them until your 100% ready to!!!!! Love is a very serious matter and should not be forced out! That's why I'm having these boys take their time to say it, even if they're already thinking it.  
> Hope you liked this chapter! I might have rushed a bit with the ending, but I hope it's not too bad.


	3. School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe talks to Evan and Jared is an asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, sorry if this isn't very good! I didn't really know where I was going with this chapter, especially with the ending. Hope you enjoy anyways!

    It could be easily agreed that no one likes school, not counting people like Alana whose whole damn life is school. It’s a place full of judgemental faces stalking your every move, waiting for the tiniest mistake to laugh at. It’s a place full of adults who don’t truly care about your future no matter what they say. It’s a place full of rumors that spread through the walls in two seconds.

    Yeah, ever since Connor supposedly threw a printer at a teacher in second grade, he hasn’t really enjoyed his school years. Seriously though, who even believes a rumor like that? Those printers are ridiculously heavy! He certainly had a bit of a temper through elementary school (and the rest of his life), but he wasn’t fucking Hulk!

    After death, though, school wasn’t as bad. Yes, he did have to hear his own suicide being discussed by complete idiots (or, you know, discussed at all at this point) and Evan’s classes were quite boring, but most of the day was spent getting Evan to laugh. Half of the time the boy would get mad at him for drawing attention to them, but it was totally worth hearing those stifled giggles.

    But after the whole  _ incident, _ school suddenly got a hell of a lot worse for them, especially Evan.

    Naturally, the Connor Project was still going, and it was going strong. Some businesses took interest in the project and have been trying to make deals with Alana and Jared. Evan, however, has mostly decided to stay out of it all.

    But that doesn’t stop from people constantly talking to Evan about it, does it? And every single time, it’s a punch in the gut. Evan will get this look in his eyes of pure guilt and sorrow hidden behind a polite smile, and it makes Connor feel just as awful.

    And then, of course, there’s Zoe, who will cast these short glances filled with more emotion than one human should ever have to hold at one time; anger, sorrow, confusion, annoyance, fear, and sometimes there’s something there he can’t even name, all in just one millisecond of shifting her eyes up from the ground to meet Evan’s face.

    Every once in awhile, he swears she looks right at Connor. Not through him like Alana or Jared does, but directly at his eyes.

    He can’t stand it.

    He’s done so much to hurt his little sister. There’s no denying, nothing that can excuse that he emotionally abused her. He killed himself so she could finally be happy.

    But she’s not. She still has that pained look.

_ Breathe. Focus. _

    It’s not much better for Evan. Sure, you could say they’ve all moved on from what happened, but that’s really difficult to measure when none of them ever actually talk about it. Alana, the one who actually still speaks with Zoe, makes sure to practically never mention her name anymore around the gang. It took longer for Jared to get the memo, but after many quick interruptions and changes of subject from Alana, he stopped too.

    And can you really ever move on if you just ignore it? Obviously fucking not! But are they ever going to? Probably fucking not!

    Eventually, Connor will tell Evan it’s time to talk to her and move on. For now, though, it seems for the best that he let his boyfriend recover and figure it out himself. He won’t but in.

    And that’s totally  _ not _ because Connor doesn’t want to face Zoe either.

    Today, though, something felt different. Off. Shifted. You get the point. And no, it wasn’t some weird ghost sense he just found out about or superstition; the halls were a lot quieter, and it seemed a fair portion of the school was missing, including Jared and Alana.

_ Wait a second. _ Jared said Senior Skip Day was next week, right? Plus, Alana would never skip a day, right?

    Unless she knew the teachers wouldn’t be doing anything and is using the day to work.

    Connor searched around the cafeteria, where everyone hangs out in the morning, hunting down any senior face he recognized. None, except oh! Would you look at that! His boyfriend is the only senior here!

    “Evan, call Jared.”  _ That little piece of shit. _

__ “Why?” Evan mouthed, hoping no one would notice him talking to thin air, probably. Connor was surprised the senior hadn’t pieced it together yet.

    “Because he-” 

    “Um, Evan?” Zoe _ (!!!!???) _ interrupted Connor, tapping on Evan’s shoulder. Both boys noticeably tensed up at her voice, prepared for anything. “What are you doing here? You do realize it’s senior skip day, right?”

    “Oh, h-hey! Wait-” Evan, paused, briefly looking around. “Th-that makes a lot of sense, um. Do I just leave?” Connor placed a hand on his shoulder in response to his stammering, hoping it would help to keep him standing (both figuratively and literally).

    “Heh, I would,” Zoe admitted, beginning to play with her hair. That wasn’t something she used to do often, so it wouldn’t be too farfetched to assume she picked it up from Alana. “Do you have a ride home?”

_  Zoe, don’t you dare offer him a ride.  _ Wait, shouldn’t he be encouraging this?

    “Ah, I-I’ll just walk home. It’s not far.”  _ Yes.  _ “Plus, th-the bell is gonna ring soon, right?”

    “We still got ten minutes before the first bell.” _ Fuck! _ “C’mon, I’ll drive you.” Why does his sister have to be so nice?!

    Evan looked up at Connor for approval, or advice, or something.

_  “No! Absolutely not!” _ Connor screamed. Except he totally didn’t; he just shrugged like always, because apparently shrugging was his new response to everything.

    “O-okay.”  _ Shit fuck no god dammit why! _

__ Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, just an awkward car ride! No guilt trips, no pain, just heavy silence!

    He tried to convince himself that, but he  _ knows _ Zoe, and she  _ hates _ awkward silences (unless she can be on her phone). She’s great at hiding it, but she will go absolutely insane if it’s quiet for too long.

    So of course, after less than a minute in the car, she breaks it. “So, uh, how have things been?”

    “Pretty good how about you?” Evan responded a bit too quickly. Knowing him, he was probably rehearsed that multiple times in his head, praying she didn’t ask anything else.

    “Um, fine, I guess.” His little sister was obviously uncomfortable, shifting slightly in her seat but keeping her eyes on the road. God, this was awkward. “Where do I go?”

    Thankfully, the rest of the car ride’s silence was filled with directions. It was only a five-minute ride, after all. But even so, Connor would have much rather walked home, or to Jared’s house so he could try to punch him again.

    After the five minutes that felt like an eternity was finally up, Evan quickly thanked Zoe for the ride and left the car. Connor was half expecting Zoe to dramatically yell “Wait!” like in the movies, for some kind of last minute question or declaration, but it didn’t come.

     The was that one last thing, though; when Connor looked back at Zoe through the car window, he swears to every possible god out there that, for just a frame of time, Zoe looked right back at him.

    The moment Evan closed the door, he slid to the ground with an expression painted on his face that was hard to read. “Should I be excited about what just happened? Scared? Upset?”

    Connor floated down next to him, groaning in his hands. “Fuck dude, I don’t even know anymore!” What even was that? Why did she do that? “Why did you think it was a good idea to let her give us a ride?!”

    “I-I don’t know! I thought it would be good, and it’s not like you were giving me much information with that shrug!” Evan raised his voice to match Connor’s, making the ghost wince.

    “Fuck, okay, that was my bad.” The spirit sighed heavily, tilting his head back. “I’m gonna be honest Evan, I was not ready for that whatsoever. I should have just said that.” He placed his hand on top of the other boy’s, letting his head fall on Evan’s shoulder. “Sorry for raising my voice.”

    The shorter boy almost laughed at the phantom’s gesture, running a soft hand through Connor’s hair. “Me too, Connie.”

    Connor lifted his head up at the sudden change. “ _ Connie _ ?”

    “D-do you not like it? It kinda just came out, I won’t call you that if you don’t like it.”

    “That’s like, too adorable,” Connor snickered. “Tooth-rotting adorable. I fucking love it.”

    Evan laughed, making the spirit smile even wider. “You? Liking cute things? What happened to my boyfriend?”

    “Oh, shut up. I’ll have you know I’m secretly a complete sap. I’d be throwing fucking roses in your face every week if I could.”

    “Sounds romantic. Will there be a cruise too?”

    It took all of Connor’s energy to not burst out in laughter. God, sometimes he forgets that under all the layers of social anxiety, Evan is almost as sarcastic as Jared (just in a less asshole-ish way).

    Wait a second, speaking of Jared! “Evan, let’s go kick Jared’s ass.”

    “Um, why?” Evan asked, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “I mean, I know you always want to kick Jared’s… butt, but is there a specific reason?” It was almost annoying that the strawberry blonde wouldn’t even say ‘ass’, but it was also kind of endearing, in a way.

    “He’s the whole reason this day happened! He gave us the wrong date for Skip Day on purpose!” Honestly, Connor wasn’t really mad at Jared anymore, but he’d take any excuse to try and beat him up.

    He’d probably never be able to, but Alana has given him hope! One day, he will punch that computer nerd in the face.

    Evan yawned, interrupting the spirit’s thoughts. “Can we take a nap first?” Connor loved the way his boyfriend would say ‘we’, because at this point there’s no questioning whether or not Connor would be in bed with him.

    “Nap first, then beating up Jared. Got it.”

    Maybe that day had a rocky start, but it became something a lot better for everyone. Except maybe Jared.


	4. Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhhhooooollyyyy fuuuuuucccckkkk  
> So if you're wondering why this chapter is so RIDICULOUSLY SHORT, it's because I have been RIDICULOUSLY BUSY this week. I had a total of five projects to work on for school, but I didn't want to leave you guys with a break so early, so I managed to type this up last night!  
> Sorry it couldn't be longer, hope this is okay anyways!

    Connor cracked opened his eyes, stretching his almost-too-lanky body and letting out a deep yawn. It seemed a few hours had passed, as instead of morning dreariness outside, afternoon sunlight leaked through the cracks in Evan’s blinds. Speaking of Evan, the sleeping boy had his arms wrapped around Connor in a loving way. Connor let himself melt into the touch, almost falling asleep again- wait, what?

_ Asleep? _ He actually  _ slept?! _

__ He immediately bolted upright, checking to see if everything was the same; he was still floating, he still had that slight transparent look, and most importantly, he was still in Evan’s room. _ Phew. _

__ The sudden movement made Evan stir awake, rubbing at his eyes while propping himself up with his free arm. Evan was always super fucking adorable when he first woke up, with tousled hair and squinted eyes, but for once the ghost was not in the mindset to admire these little things about his boyfriend, still coming down from the momentary shock of the events that just occurred.

    “Con?” Evan mumbled, still trying to wake up. “Are you alright? D-did something happen?” Under the layers of post-sleeping drowsiness in the green-eyed boy’s face was a strong worry for the phantom, shown more through his tone of voice instead.

    “No,” Connor said quickly, wanting to let his boyfriend go back to sleep. “Shit, well yes, but it’s not that big of a deal. Just- I fell asleep? I guess?”

    “Oh. Um, wasn’t the last time when-” Evan gulped, worry still lingering for his partner. “-when you came here?” He was now sat all the way up with the spirit, searching for anything that might have changed like he did just moments ago.

    He remembers back to when he was still in his old home, desperately trying to get the attention of his family. He tried his best to not think about those horrid two days, but he does remember falling asleep floating over his old bed that Wednesday night and waking up over Evan’s carpet the next morning. So yes, the two had a very good reason to freak out a bit about Connor sleeping.

    “Yeah, but I don’t think anything else has changed. If you want, we can just go back to sleep.” If Connor could go back to sleep, then maybe he was starting to become human again? If that’s even possible without his actual body?

    “I think that just about woke me up.” Evan began to stretch one more time but then got a slightly shocked look on his face looking into Connor’s eyes.

    “What?” The ghost felt himself blush, despite having absolutely no idea why Evan was staring.

    His boyfriend dropped the surprised look and smiled real, unbearably cute. “You barely have bags under your eyes anymore.”

    “Huh,” Instinctively, Connor brought a hand up to under his left eye. “Did I have bags before? I can’t exactly go looking into a mirror.” Why was this a big deal to Evan anyways? Though, he did feel a bit more refreshed. He never thought he felt too tired before, but there seemed to be a weight lifted off of him that he’d grown so used to; like there was a buzzing in the back of your head, so light you forget about it but once it’s gone, you feel free.

    Evan quickly changed the subject. “Um, still want to go to Jared’s?”

    “Yeah, sure. The kid’s probably sitting at home waiting for your damn response.” Plus, they’ve got nothing better to do for the rest of the day and it’s always nice to get out of the house.

    Wow, did Connor Murphy actually want to go  _ outside _ for once? He really was different.

    They got out of bed and quickly got ready (there wasn’t much to do but fix up Evan’s hair a bit and put on a jacket), glad it was bright outside now and not the dead cold morning. Of course, they weren’t out of winter just yet, so it was still pretty damn cold.

    On the walk there, Evan was smiling the whole time.

    Connor might never know why such a small detail like the bags under his eyes would be so important to Evan Hansen, but it made him smile, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're confused as to why Evan is so happy about this, resort back to the first chapter of Bound. I may hate those first chapters with a passion, but I stay consistent!  
> Once again, sorry for this being so short! I will probably have a lot more time this week, so maybe I'll make the next chapter a bit longer if I can.


	5. Jared (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor checks on Jared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1????? What does this MEAN??? I guess we'll see???  
> Back to the normal length! Hope you enjoy!

    It’s not that Connor hates Jared.

    Okay, so maybe he did hate Jared, but not anymore! 

    He’s just kind of an idiot. He thinks showing his emotions will make the world explode, or something. He hides it all through jokes and plain rudeness (though he was trying to be a bit nicer lately, it seemed), but every single time he tries to hide it, every single time he makes some snarky comment, it’s a shake of the bottle.

    The bottle already leaks every once in awhile. It’s in the tiniest little remarks, itty bitty messages he tries to get out to let out some of the tension. They’re all practically inaudible calls for help, whether Jared would want to think that or not. It wouldn’t be too surprising if he lets the cap completely off in his alone time.

    But that’s not enough; it fills itself back up again, and it will bust open any minute now.

    Connor is a strong believer that everyone has this bottle. For some, it could be almost completely empty except for a single speck of dust inside the cap, but there’s always  _ something,  _ and it’s insanely easy to fill it to the brim without even realizing it’s full until it’s too late.

    What’s Connor’s bottle like? Probably a complete fucking mess, but not full. Not overfilling like Jared’s with every little negative emotion and 90% of the positive ones stuffed inside. It was pitiful to watch, sometimes even painful. Jared may be an asshole, but Connor felt some empathy for the idiot; he’d been in similar boats.

    One thing Connor noticed when they went to Jared’s was that there were never any other cars parked at his house. Which was weird, right? Evan was family friends with Jared, meaning their families knew each other somehow, most likely their moms, yet neither of their moms was ever home. Did they both work at the hospital?

    One time about a few weeks ago, Connor asked Evan.

_ “What’s Jared’s relationship with his parents like?” Evan seemed confused about the question at first, but in just a touch of a second, memories seemed to flash behind his eyes. _

_     “It’s-” “Evan swallowed almost painfully, “It’s not something any of us like to talk about, especially Jared.” _

_     “When does Jared ever like talking about his emotions?” _

_     “His mom is in the hospital.” _

_     “Oh.” _

    Connor didn’t ask any more questions about Jared’s parents after that, despite his growing curiosity.

    Evan and Jared’s strange past as “family friends” for practically all their life is something Connor has been trying to figure out for as long as the mystery gang has been together. As they try to fit the pieces into the jigsaw puzzle that is Ghost Connor, he’s been doing a completely different puzzle for Jared and Evan. He honestly wasn’t sure which one was more difficult.

    Here’s what Connor does know, or at least he’s 90% sure of: Jared didn’t always call them family friends.

    It’s painfully obvious that they were once great friends, maybe even best friends. Neither of them would admit it, but they knew just about everything about each other. You could make each of them a test about the other filled with multiple choice, true or false questions, essay questions, and even fucking riddles, and they’d both get 100%. If they were closer, they’d be like  _ brothers _ .

    So what the hell happened? That’s what Connor doesn’t understand, and maybe never will. But he has a pretty good guess it was mostly on Jared’s fault. Maybe he grew distant when his mom was put in the hospital?  _ Wait a second. _

    Didn’t Jared say his mom pays for his car insurance? Something wasn’t adding up.

    See, this is why the two were so difficult to figure out. Neither of them would talk about it (especially Jared) and either of them could completely lie about it. Until the two of them got their shit together and labeled themselves as good friends again, this puzzle wasn’t going anywhere.

    Except something was different today. As the two boys entered Jared’s house without knocking, like always, something felt off. Everything felt stiffer, or colder, or something.

    For as long as he can remember, Connor has had the ability to almost always tell when something bad was happening/going to happen. It was always in the air; it would be thick with a silence that was almost suffocating even if someone was speaking, or there would be a breeze no matter what the temperature. Really, at least something would feel just slightly off enough to be alarming.

    He couldn’t feel every bad event, but his feelings were never wrong (then again, his depression kinda made everything happen to seem like shit). Maybe he was always spiritual?

    As they walked up the stairs to Jared’s room, they heard a strange, incoherent sound that made both of them jump.

    Connor began to make a mental list of all the things Jared could be doing to be making weird sounds. There were only about two things on this list: crying and jerking off.

    Well that was a mental image that almost made Connor want to throw up (no offense to Jared). He was almost relieved when he heard a definitive sob come from the bedroom to alert that Evan’s family friend was indeed crying.

    ...Should they leave? Connor wouldn’t consider himself a master at situations like these. No, far from it; he was absolutely fucking awful with them. Looking at Evan, it appeared he didn’t quite know what to do either, nervously moving his head between the stairs and Jared’s bedroom door.

    Finally, it seemed the tree boy came to a decision, lightly tugging at Connor’s right sleeve. “Um, could you maybe…” Instead of finishing his thought, he pointed with his eyes towards Jared’s room. 

    Connor gave him a confused look, about to ask why, but Evan continued. “He’d get mad at me if I intruded, b-but I want to make sure he isn’t doing anything stu-” The green-eyed boy glanced towards Connor’s right arm before looking back up at the ghost’s face, correcting his vocabulary. “-harmful.”

_ Oh.  _ “Has he in the past?” Why else would Evan be worried about that?

    “I think so. Maybe. It’s complicated.” He looked extremely uncomfortable suddenly, messing with his shirt and drifting his eyes away. Truthfully, Connor was uncomfortable too; this wasn’t exactly his favourite subject.

    “Alright alright, I’ll check on the kid,” the ghost agreed hesitantly, beginning to float towards the bedroom door. “You owe me one for this, Hansen.” He obviously wouldn’t ever keep track of that, but he felt it was appropriate to say.

_ Into the unknown. _ (Well, not really. He’s been in Jared’s room before, he just really wanted to say that.)

    Jared’s room was quite clean this time, which sounds strange for Jared, but this wasn’t the first time. According to Evan, he actually hated too much clutter and loved things to be organized, but his room would get messy whenever he got too wrapped up in something. The only mess this time was a few papers on his desk, some crumpled up and fallen to the ground.

    Jared himself was seemingly just starting to calm down from his sobbing session. He was wrapped in a blanket and curled up in a ball, but he wasn’t making any loud noises anymore.

    Connor let his growing curiosity get the best of him as he floated towards the desk filled with papers. If nothing important caught his eye, he’d leave it alone.

    But something did right away, on the first paper he saw, written neatly and clearly; “ _ Dear Evan Hansen.” _

    He shouldn’t read this, he  _ really _ shouldn’t. This was private property, he was practically breaking in already.

_  “This is stupid. This is really stupid. I don’t know why I’m trying so hard to write this, it’s not like I’ll ever show it to you. In fact, I’ll probably burn all of these the moment I get the chance. _

_     Everyone else already knows the balance of how much emotion should be shown and how much you should be an asshole. Or maybe everyone just knows how to hide their emotions and be nice at the same time. If so, those people must be fucking magicians cause they’re not revealing their tricks to me anytime soon. _

_     It’s so much easier to just not care, or to pretend that is. But no, the new counselor mom made me go to tells me that’s ridiculously unhealthy!” _

    Counseling? Did Evan even know about this? And there’s another mention of his mom. This was way too personal, but Connor couldn’t stop now.

_ “So I thought: hey! You write those weird (sex) letters to yourself for your therapist, how about I do something similar so I’m not a complete mess? Genius as always, I know. _

_     But instead of writing to myself, I’m writing to you. I don’t know, it made a lot of sense in my head at first, but now this seems really stupid. I’m not even good at writing. I don’t even know where to start. _

_     Do I just jump right in and say  _ _~~I’m hopelessly in love with you?~~ ” _

    Oh.

__ The writing stopped there, with those last words messily crossed out. But even if it didn’t stop, that was definitely Connor’s cue to stop reading and leave. He was very much  _ not _ meant to see that.

    This added a lot to the puzzle.

    “What took you so long?” Evan asked when the spirit finally floated out of the room. “Is he okay?”

    “Uh,” Should he tell Evan? No, that would be a complete mess. “More or less, he’s fine. I was kinda snooping around a bit.”

    “Oh, okay.” Evan went into thought for a moment, holding Connor’s hand as they exited Jared’s house. “Find anything interesting?”

    “Just some sob letters. Trying to get out his emotions, I guess,” the ghost replied a bit too quickly, but Evan didn’t seem to catch it.

    No, Connor wasn’t jealous in any way. He wasn’t really the type to get jealous, and he really doubted Jared would ever make a move. If anything, he felt bad for the computer nerd. Unrequited love was never fun; Connor would know. He’d experienced it awhile back with the first boy he fell in love with. (Thank god that boy moved away in their sophomore year.)

    But mostly, he just felt awkward.

    He really should learn to cool it down with his curiosity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise!!! Jared will be happy!!! Eventually!!! He's got a lot more to deal with than just being in love with Evan, but we'll resolve that first!  
> I don't really see Connor as ever being the jealous type, but I totally see Evan as. Maybe I'll use that later :)


	6. Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It isn't always easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post last week! My AP classes have been giving me PLENTY of work to do, and honestly sometimes I just forget to write this.  
> Hope this chapter is okay!

    The more Connor thinks about Jared’s unrequited love, the more he feels ridiculously stupid. Of course Jared likes Evan! That boy may hide his feelings well, but it’s so obvious. Why else would he try so hard to hide his emotions? That plus his mother being in the hospital, apparently, it’s only natural Jared’s way to cope would be to shut himself away.

    But with all this new information required, more questions opened up. Honestly, this was starting to get frustrating. He didn’t even really care that Jared liked Evan, he just wanted some answers.

    So fuck it, Connor thought as he floated next to Evan while he did his homework. let’s get some. 

    “Evan, did you lie when you told me Jared’s mom was in the hospital?” Too blunt? Whatever, he might as well cut to the chase; this was one mystery he was getting tired of trying to solve on his own.

    “What?” Evan brows furrowed at the question, almost looking offended. “Why would I- I mean I know I have a tendency to lie, b-but why would I lie about something so personal?”

    Okay, maybe that was a bit too blunt. “Fuck, I didn’t mean it like that, it just-” just that it makes absolutely no sense? “-doesn’t add up. You guys act like she’s just fine!”

    “Wha? W-when would we--” Evan trailed off into some kind of deep thought.

    “Didn’t he always say his mom paid for car insurance? But she’s in the  _ hospital??” _ Someone has to be lying here, right?

    “Connor,” Evan said, suddenly coming out of his mini-trance state to give a look of revelation. “Jared has two moms,” he revealed with a small smile.

    Once again, more proof that Connor is actually an idiot. Of fucking course he has two moms!

    Wait. “Like, two moms in a relationship, or like a stepmom?” These were very important questions.

    “Aha, both I guess? Jared’s biological mom and dad divorced when he was four, and his mom married his now stepmom when he was 14.” Evan suddenly ran a hand through his own hair, which Connor is 99.99% sure is a trait the blonde picked up from him. “Th-that’s actually how I learned I could like more than just girls.”

    Damn, that’s a much more interesting story to discovering your sexuality. Connor found out he was gay thanks to Danny Phantom at age seven. Maybe the real reason he turned into a ghost is because his actual soulmate is Danny Phantom. Maybe Evan secretly IS Danny Phantom.

    Jesus, back to the main subject.

    “So uh, which one is in the hospital?” the ghost asked before suddenly feeling very nosy. “You don’t have to answer that.”

    “N-no no, it’s fine. His biological mom is. Um, chronic schizophrenia. His stepmom has been trying to juggle working full time and visiting her, so she’s not home often.”

    “What about his dad?” Surely the three of them can’t all have shitty fathers, right? Evan noticeably tensed up by that question. Dear god, Alana’s dad might be the only hope for all of father-kind.

    “H-he, um,” the shorter boy crossed his arms below his chest, more than just uncomfortable by the conversation. “He passed away two years ago. C-car crash.” Oh shit.

    Connor never knew how to react to the mourning of someone’s death. Personally, the only living thing he had ever lost was a goldfish when he was five. When you never experience something so big like that, you have no idea how to empathize with it. So the spirit did what he knew how to do; he grabbed Evan’s hand.

    “Change the subject?” he asked, hoping to make the mood less gloomy. Evan immediately nodded.

    That was the deal they made with each other; they both had things they would rather not talk about, so they agreed that if a topic came up that made either uncomfortable or upset, it would be dropped (unless it was severely important to talk about, of course. They’re not  _ complete _ idiots).

    Wait, shit, what was he supposed to change it to? It’s not like anything interesting was happening to him that Evan didn’t know about. The only thing Evan didn’t see were the reruns of Friends he would put on for Connor once in awhile while he went to sleep, on the tiny television sitting in his room that looked like it was made in the 1950’s when color TV finally came out to the public.

    Wait, there’s something. Sometimes Evan would use the subject change to talk about his growing knowledge of plants and animals, so maybe this was Connor’s time to talk about his “interests”?

    “Did you know color television was already invented around the same time black and white TV showed their first commercial in the 1940’s, a decade before they were released to the public?”

    “Heh, cool?” Evan grinned, showing at least semi-amusement in Connor’s random fact. “Is a decade a long time for stuff like that?”

    Connor thought for a moment before shrugging. “Maybe? I don’t fucking know, I just read it in a book once.” He used to read quite a lot when he was alive. Music and books were his two escapes; he usually preferred fiction, especially fantasy, but sometimes a conflict would hit too close to home and a good nonfictional book distracted from that.

    That was the rest of the night for them; Evan attempting to do his homework while Connor pestered him with random facts he learned from the random books he used to read.

    He missed reading, sure, but a good story could never replace the one he was living right now.

 

    That good feeling was gone the moment they walked into school the next day.

    Something about the atmosphere in the halls filled with blue lockers and depressed teens immediately reminded Connor that life sucks. Well, it makes sense; the ghost’s school days were spent crying and punching stall doors in the unisex bathrooms, plus assholes like Jared giving remarks about his hair or his outfits or his posture or _ his sister,  _ anything to make the “school shooter” angry. Anything to make him hate himself even more.

    Yeah. Fuck school.

    Admittedly, it has been better now that no one can see him, and he can only hope it has been better on Evan too (he’s had to go to the bathroom to panic a couple times, but from what it sounds like, he used to do it a lot more often). Now that the Connor Project has died down, no one really talks to them anymore either; all they get are polite smiles in the hallways, and of course Jared and Alana.

    So maybe he should be a bit more positive about school, but today had not started well and all positivity had already left Connor’s bones.

    What ruined their morning so badly? They woke up late and ended up rushing out the door, being ten minutes late to first period. How did this happen? Even forgot to turn his ringer up for his alarm and Connor fell asleep again, meaning nothing was there to wake them up except for their own brains. It reminded the ghost why he never showered when he was alive; he was too tired and lazy to do it at night and waking up early was actually the worst thing in the world.

    Of course, that wasn’t the only thing that went wrong. The moment they got out of first period, Connor had three different people walk through him.

    You see, for a while now Connor has set up a very simple system for himself: when walking in the halls at school, float  _ over _ everyone to avoid being walked into. Why? Because he fucking hated it! He can’t feel a thing when it happens, like he doesn’t even exist. It goes against every instinct and idea still in his mind from when he was alive and completely messes him the fuck up.

    Unfortunately, the spirit was still disoriented from the morning, and he completely forgot that he was even dead in the first place. Someone walking through you is not a good wake up call, so it could be said Connor was  _ not _ in a great mood.

    Evan wasn’t, either. Well, it wasn’t really his mood that was the problem; the rush in the morning caused the anxious boy to forget his pills, meaning today would be an anxiety-filled hell for him. 

    The best part about all of this? Today was a Thursday, meeting day. The perfect day for Evan to have his anxiety bleed from the walls and for Connor to be an angry depressed shithead. Woo.

    “Connor, how was your body disposed of?” Alana asked like it was a completely normal question. Is he the only one who thinks that’s kind of fucked up?

    “Cremated,” Evan answered for him, avoiding any eye contact and picking at his cuticles. He was a bit calmer than he was earlier today, but he stilled looked as if he were going through the infinite amount of choices that could lead to something horrid happening.

    “So there’s absolutely no way he could just come back, right? I mean, even if he wasn’t cremated, human bodies may take years to fully decompose but by now he would already-” Thankfully, Alana’s discomforting spout was interrupted.

    Not thankfully, it was by Zoe Murphy. 

    “Who are you guys talking about?” she said in a confused and concerned voice, completely unaware of how this was the worst possible time for her to show up for multiple reasons.

    “Oh! Um, we’re talking about Jesus!” Alana thinks quickly, beginning to twirl a wad of her hair around one finger. “Even after just two days, his internal organs would have already begun to decompose. Therefore he either didn’t truly die at all or never came back from the dead.”

    “Okaay then,” Zoe let out an awkward laugh. “I was just coming over to give you back A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Thanks again for lending it to me.” Why didn’t mom just buy Zoe a copy? It’s not like they’re poor.

    “No problem! I know how much of a pain it is to try to get a hold of a library copy when all the junior English classes are reading it.”

    “Yeah.” Zoe began to repeat Alana’s action from earlier and twirl her hair. “I-I should probably get going. See ya later, guys.” Zoe hugged her binder close to her chest as she walked out at a slightly brisk pace.

    And walked right through Connor.

    Evan’s eyes widened, aware of how damaging this was to the ghost. Connor wasn’t sure if he wanted to scream and punch a wall or cry.

    “Evan, can we go?” Connor practically whispered, tightening his fists.  _"_ _ Now?” _

    “Um, y-yeah.” Evan snapped out of his own thoughts and began to stand up, looking towards the confused Alana and Jared. “Sorry but, w-we gotta go. Homework stuff.” Before the two could protest or ask questions, Evan rushed out with his belongings in hand, Connor naturally trailing behind him.

    When they got back home, Connor immediately sat by the bed and curled up in a ball.

    Evan sat on the bed next to him. “Um, you okay?”

    “No.”

    “Do you want to talk-”

_  “No.” _

     Connor apologized the next day, but for the night, he was left alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing I've been slacking on is showing Connor's depression. This chapter is the start of a reminder that having people to call friends and a person to love isn't going to cure mental illnesses, but Connor's trying his best to heal. In the future, he might have days like this for seemingly no reason at all.
> 
> I'll try my best to keep with my weekly schedule, but I would expect this to happen again. Most of the chapters written in Bound were done in the summer, so it was a lot easier!


	7. (I'm deleting this fic, but not the first)

Hey ya'll. I think I got some explaining to do, don't I?

When I first started writing this series, it was a project to keep me busy in the coming summer months. Summer is something that is extremely hard for me to deal with for my own reasons. For the most part, it worked, and for awhile Bound was something I was really proud of.

The problem is, I really wish I stopped at Bound. Connected is not something I'm proud of. The only reason I began to write Connected was that I thought there  _had_ to be closure. It was incredibly forced, and you can tell. There is no soul in these chapters at all to me.

Even the later chapters in the first installment were somewhat forced as I got further into summer because of my mental state, but Bound is still something I hold high. I think chapter 9 is an example of when I was most confident with my writing; I can still look back at that chapter and feel incredibly good about my writing skills. With other chapters, mostly the earliest and latest ones, I feel like I've failed to capture the characters correctly. I've heard people give me praise for not ignoring the characters' mental illnesses, but I feel Connor is certainly lacking in most of the series. 

There's also the fact that I'm not even that into the ship anymore. I just don't think I could ever make this installment good. 

So in a week or so, after most have seen this message, I'm deleting Connected. I don't think I could ever get myself to delete Bound, but there's not an inch of me that is proud of what I have done with Connected. I'm sorry you guys won't get closure, but I never wanted there to be in the first place.

If you're wondering if I'm going to write more fanfiction, I currently have a Be More Chill multichapter fic in the works! I'm also into a lot of other stuff besides musicals and I really wanna write fics for the cartoons and shit I watch. I don't know, we'll see.

Once again, I'm sorry to have to end it like this.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Leave comments and kudos because that's all I'm surviving off of!!


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